Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My Prince in rusting Armor

He is riding on a brown horse, on a beach dirtied with broken bottles and human excreta. This is being done in slow motion form like an Indian lover singing in the fields to his love. A romantic song accompanies the ride, blasting “ma to nkyemam” by Sony Achiba. He alights from the horse and does a 360 swirl. He kneels before me and places a kiss on my hand. Would you be my queen, he asked. Shyly I looked at him and bam! Its “attention” the mad man in my area.:(

What the hell is attention doing in my dream? My prince was supposed to be a mixture of Denzel, Morris Chestnut and Tommy lee (I need the rough side too)

I remember one of my supposed dating days; Blackie (that is not his original name oh) arrived ten minutes early to pick me from work. He wouldn’t switch off his ignition so the air condition would glaze his glass, he was still in his shades after 6pm.He got out of the car to open the front door for me, I was laughing in my head, first impressions don’t count babes, I said in my head.

Blackie and I went to his fav place and then left to another after spending some hours. On our journey, blacks wanted to buy diesel and realized his money had run out. “ I have to use the ATM, I need some gas” he said, “ cool” I said (in my mind cool meant, who cares? Gas, when did we start saying gas down here)

We stopped at Barclays and Blacks got down with swag to pay Mr. ATM a visit, after 3 mins I realized he looked frustrated, so I got down to go find out what his issue was. Apparently his card had been swolled by the ATM card. Blacks wouldn’t accept it and was pissed like hell. After trying relentlessly to retrieve it, he called one of his friend whom he claims works at the bank. His friend explained to him how the system works and how he has to come back on Monday and begin procedures to retrieve the card. He got pissed and dissed his friend and told him how he works for an incompetent employer and that he was going to sue them.

Instantly blacks had changed from the swagon papa to a scary looking devil. He banged on the ATM machine with his fist and legs. He hit it so hard and he begun to attract on lookers. The bank security personnel were alarmed and got close to him, he begun to ruin insults on them and called them silly and stupid people. Do you know who I am? He continually asked them.

You should have seen me, trying to hide in the ground or better still get in a taxi and run. A police petrol van arrived on the scene. They tried to calm blacks down but he won’t listen , he told them their salaries were equal to his transportation allowance.

The men became agitated , then all of a sudden, one policeman looks at me and says “ nice woman , how can have a boyfriend like this, ei? I didn’t know what to say, shaking my head, smiling, frowning and deeply disappointed at the same time.

After their endless quarrels, blacks realized he could easily be beaten and beckoned me to sit down as he came in to move the car. Silently I sat down and waited till we got somewhere far from our audience and said to him, “ I really had a nice time but sleep beckons, drop me here and I would get a taxi home”, let me drop you, he said. NO! I mean thanks, I live at Dansoman and its far, and I see you are upset, just get home safe and we would talk.

We never had till NOW!

( This is a combination of various dates, if the caps fit sorry! I have access to use of the memories too 


DiDi said...

WOW this is a crazy story. lol @ Instantly blacks had changed from the swagon papa to a scary looking devil. how can u attack the ATM?? i bet he doesn`t know how to use it lol..Ladies go through

StylishForever said...

This was a good read girl, i'm loving your blog already! Ps: Go Ghanaian girls!!! I'm one of them :)